Its Twilight Time

I don’t like going places, I’m most always disappointed so I just look for excuses not to go. I was roped into going up to Forks recently with an out of town relative all giddy about doing a “Twilight Tour” of the movie locations.

I mean its not like Edward really loved her, but ok, off I went.

I will spare you all the details of the various locations. All of which were treated like shrines to the couple of dozen other people that were up there doing the same thing. On a Monday no less.

Kentucky, San Francisco, Atlanta. Ya, not kidding. Me, I haven’t been in Forks since a high school track meet a half century ago. Trust me…..the town hasn’t changed. Don’t get me wrong, I like the town.

Let me hit the highlights and set the scene. This town is sooooooo over the movies and it is clear we aren’t welcome. Oh sure, Bella’s truck is front and center at the Chamber of Commerce, thats about it.

We walked into one of the Twilight store front gift shops. Somehow they got 50$ out of me. What struck me was the clerk. Let me quote exactly what she said when we asked questions about where to go in town. “I really don’t watch those movies so don’t know much about them.” Great hire there. Great hire.

There are “don’t” signs everywhere but that doesn’t stop people from being fans.

We drove up to the location of Bella’s house and a bunch of flowers had just popped outside the fence and huge sign saying to stay away. Like a swarm of locusts these people descended on that little garden and stripped it bare. They weren’t easy to break off either, I had to pull and twist.

All the visitors to the town that day, I assume it is the same every day, were just giddy. The people of the town sort of dour. Kind of like those horror movies where your car breaks down in this little town and all the townsfolk sort of stare at you and don’t smile. If you’ve seen the movie Troll 2 you will get the gist. A real Nilbog vibe. You learn pretty quick to avoid them and stick with the other Twilight people.

It was lunch time, and I was hungrier than Jacob after a good swim, so we went into a downtown cafe. Almost 20$ each for a pretty standard breakfast. Pure greasy crap. I mean press the fork into the pile of hash browns and brown smelly grease squeezed out all over the plate and puddeled. Just horrible. I don’t know if that was the tourist special, or everyday fare, but I suspect the former.

I enjoyed the drive and especially what the Wa State Parks have done with the beaches and campgrounds just before getting into town. Real nice.

As for the city being a welcoming spot for the fans of the movies looking to have a fun day……not so much. A real missed opportunity having something like that dropped in your lap and not running with it.

Then again, maybe the locals didn’t want it in the first place. Its their town they can do what they want and I don’t fault them for it or for caring two twits about a bunch of people they never invited in the first place.

I thought for sure there would be a meadow I could lie in and sparkle for a picture for you. Nope.

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