Special Revolutionary Edition! June 12th, 2020
MONTESANO Wa: Greetings fellow comrades! At long last our hour is upon us. no longer will the machinery of Montesano feed on the blood of the oppressed. For too long we have suffered under the meaty hand of our local law enforcement. 
Stories abound about their helping old people change their car tires, always trying to stop and say good morning when you walk down the street. One actually helped Mrs. Morrison to her door with her groceries. We now know what that is code for. OPPRESSION.
I remember as a child here having these servants of Satan (not that Satan is necessarily bad) coming into our schools talking down things like drugs and the importance of education. Brainwashing generations of Monte children. What we have learned is that drugs are good for people. The state says so. You can buy them at the pot stores now and the taxes go to keep our government moving. What else have they lied about?
Montesano will never be truly free when there are police there to observe bad behavior and cast judgement over those just being all they can be.
Like many of you, I have now seen the light and have begun to clear the fog from my eyes. Others here in Montesano are similarly coming out of the shadow and making real much needed changes.
PRIVILEGED MONTESANO AUTONOMOUS ZONE
This past week with the formation and inspiration of C.H.A.Z. in Seattle, others have begun to take back their streets and neighborhoods. We recently took a trip up to the North end of town to talk with a woman named Sky, the designated leader of the Privileged Montesano Autonomous Zone, or PMAZ. The P is silent.
After turning onto Neville Avenue and entering through the aged oak hand sawn matching barricades, beautifully adorned with a gold leaf and opal application, I was blindfolded and led into the wine cellar of an undisclosed building.
MT: So Sky, tell us a little about your group,
SKY: Frankly, we were fed up for a long time, this recent land grab in Seattle just pushed us to finally take the step, after all….if they can do it, why can’t we. We are only a few blocks but, as you know, important blocks. We decide who gets elected, and what laws are enforced and where. We should be ….well…..
MT: Are you still part of Montesano?
SKY: No and yes. No in that we are tired of playing games. We let the police force in, after all….laughs…..they work for us. Its just well, take what is going on in Montesano. I tried to get an oil change at the car dealership this week. Due to the lockdown and social distance thing, we couldn’t get a complimentary car wash! Can you believe it! Hey, it’s us who decide who gets zoned what and where and why you know. (Sky winks here)
MT: Thats a terrible sacrifice Sky, your group must be terribly upset
SKY: Look, most of us didn’t diet through high school to end up being treated like like….average Montesano people. We run this place. I don’t want to even get into how hard it is to schedule a massage.
MT: Do you have any demands?
SKY: You better believe it. Look we are very progressive here. We employ a good 75% of our staff of the disadvantaged type. Our support to local schools is legendary, why, some of us even send our kids to them. From time to time.
We support all Democratic candidates. Seriously…..we support them. We demand the veil be lifted and our proper place be recognized. It has taken years to finalize the seating charts for our dinner parties and the time has come.
MT: Well, it sounds like your group is really fired up and it is good to see the members of the community finally taking stands. On behalf of all of us, thank you for everything you do, what you allow us to have. Thank you for the business you allow, and for keeping those nasty dirty type of businesses out of town. Views from the hill matter.
I was then given a cheese plate and paper cup of wine and allowed to consume it in a pool chemical storage shed and led back to the barricade.
GOING FORWARD TOGETHER
We must stand together to celebrate our individual ness. The entire city government is behind us. Not one of them, not a single one has stood up and publicly supported the police here. We get the message. We have the elected leaders in place, the time is now. If the police come after your neighbor today for blowing up his garage with an illegal still, they may come after you tomorrow for driving drunk. We can’t live like this any more.
Viva Montesano Revolution!
Montesano Today 