Good Grief

Ok look.  Yes, I have a contact email up.  I did everything I could to tell people its more or less a waste of time, but every once in a while I am expecting something and actually go there.   I much prefer spending time with my dogs to most of you.

Im Retired, Im busy.

Its mostly people wanting this and that- whining about who did what –  HELP ME  HELP ME…..and then I have to think about it, start caring about them and get all involved and stuff…..and then the posting here starts and it takes away from my Fallout 76 game time.  (Im pushing level 900 and fairly focused right now).

Anyway, you all know I don’t go anywhere near Communist propaganda and really have no idea what is going on on Facebook.  Apparently there is a group trying to get me to run for mayor.  No, I’m not putting the link up I don’t want people joining it.

“Tom….you aren’t working anymore….come do it!”  “we need you”     Offering money, campaign help….. that sort of thing.

Now I am the last one you want to give the keys to the city to.  

Just ask around.

The first thing I would do is open a  criminal investigation into the good ole boy glad handing in this place.  And oh boy do I know where the bodies are.  We would need more shovels. Wait just a minute here. As Mayor I would have access to a back hoe…right!

If elected, I would promise not to sign anything.  Absolutely nothing and to leave everyone alone. It would be my primary promise to all of you.

If someone came into my office with a list of “good ideas”, I would excuse myself politely to go to the bathroom and not come back until they had left.  We need a list of these people and will make sure the new Mayor’s Special Police Unit takes care of them before they can cause any further damage to this town.

I would insist that we partner with Aspen Colorado as a sister city and I would winter there to push Montesano tourism.  We would rent a chalet at city expense and several of my friends here have volunteered to study the area at ski time to better prepare Montesano for global cooling.  You just have to love the dedication of some of our neighbors.

In the interest of community service, I would locally institute Funny Hat Thursday and take the extra money we would have by not signing anything to buy popsicles for everyone on Saturdays at Fleet Park during the summer.  The good ones, not those ones that come a dozen in a box like they would do in Elma.  Further, I would add knock-knock jokes and one of those puzzle mazes to the newsletter we get every month.  

As for big projects, I’m pretty sure there are enough strong men in town that would come help me dig a big  ditch from the Chehalis into town big enough for us to sail little boats and the such on.  Maybe little paddle boats too, the ones that looks like ducks.  That would be fun.

“I’ll try my best…..but I’m not promising anything

And that would be my campaign motto.

And as I told that Facebook group clearly and repeating here.  Show me a room with 300 wild eyed rabidly pissed off people in it and checks for 5k and I might do it.  Maybe, but I’m charging $100.00 just to show up at the event and keeping left over food.  We would need the money too, private investigators aren’t cheap and it would be a scorched earth campaign of epic proportions.

And it has to be over by 8:00 pm as I have this Fallout 76 thing I do with Gumbuster786 and Ladydeathcult777 most nights.  Lots of balloons no yellow ones.  Oh, and no fluorescent lights, I hate them   and will remove them all from city buildings.  Well, not me personally, but their must be someone there that does that sort of thing.

Oh, one more thing.  Happy ten year anniversary to Montesano Today