Bloodthirsty Beavers invade Montesano

PSA: Montesano Wa.

It isn’t often we find ourselves beset by our local wildlife. At least it hasn’t been often………

Montesano Today has conducted an extensive investigation into the strange disappearance of local foul and unusual occurrences in the dark woods surrounding this sleepy town. Our findings, presented here, are a cautionary tale.

Have our over rapid expansion encroached upon nature? A question I only hope we have time to answer.


Regular readers may remember a notation from last year. I was up at dawn taking a photo of the sunrise over my pond when I stepped back and fell over a wailing dying beaver. In the foggy half light of the morning I wasn’t sure what it was, but the screaming. The screaming. The beaver was making noise too.

Why this beaver decided to die in front of me, I do not know. Was it a warning?

The incident quickly left my mind and, frankly, had forgotten about it. Until recently.

The first indication that something was wrong down at the pond here at 10th and Pioneer were the missing chickens. Just piles of feathers. Then the ducks. Their slim necks torn off and arranged on the bank of the Sylvia creek backwater.

The final warning that something was indeed ….up….presented itself when my missing cat Jenner finally limped to the back door after being missing for a week. Minus half of it’s formally glorious white plumed tail.

I know what you are thinking. “hey, its Montesano, all sort of strange shit goes on around here.”

I agree and would normally just dismiss such things as one in but many unusual Montesano episodes. We are all familiar with the stories of the old timers and have dismissed thier stories as rum soaked nightmares.

Still, something pulled at me Drawing me down to the pond and deeper into the backwater that Sylvia Creek deposits at the back of my property.

Putting on my waders and armed with a sharp stick I trod into the muck and back water. Back through the berry bushes and twisted alder. There, hidden from view was the dam. Along the way a family of river otters made their presence known as well.

Today, I was walking Rocky up through the Woods at Sylvia Creek and ran into a guy also walking his dog. As conversations with strangers often do, we began to discuss beavers.

I was shocked to listen to him relate how not one, but seven beavers had been trapped in those woods. Further, he related that there may be as many as 40-50 beavers back “up in there” as he put it.

He had a really nice looking knife on his belt and a mustache, so I have no doubt he knew what he was talking about.

Now, how bad is our beaver infestation here in Montesano? Are they organized? We here at MT don’t have the answers you are by now desperately looking for. This is much bigger a situation and requires immediate action by the city. There must be someone up there that can smell out a beaver in the bywaters and get rid of these menaces to good public order. God knows we spend enough in taxes around here.

These blood hungry buck toothed monsters must be tamed.

And watch yourself in the woods around town. Lest one of them fell a tree on you!