At Last!

Look, I’m not exactly what you would call an emotional guy. Don’t try to hug me. I have’t cried since 1975 watching Etta James sing I’d Rather Go Blind ……. so this deep emotional surge going through me now is a bit hard to communicate.

You see it’s not Etta getting to me now, its …..its Jenny Durkin, the Soviet mayor of Seattle.

You just got to love her. Single handedly she has not only driven up the price of my own house here in Montesano by over 100,000$$$$$$ (gold chains and mortorcycles)…..but she has driven up the price of every other home in town as well by that and even more! Go ahead type your home address into Zillow.

People are pouring out of Seattle, perhaps escaping is the better word. What did they call the people that made it over the Berlin Wall alive? It doesn’t matter, pouring out of those police defunded city limits and away from the mask wearing fun loving book burning Communists that now control the town. Not waiting for the details in new Five Year Plan to be announced, they are driving, sailing boats, and walking. Away….away (but to where?)

Where? I query. Well, we don’t have to wonder all we need to do is check in with the propaganda department of the Democratic Party, or what most of us refer to as The New York Times.

Yes, according to this just the facts mam stalwart of unbiased journalism, I can report to my readers here that the number 9 destination of people escaping these pleasure palaces of Communist utopia is none other than our own Aberdeen Washington.

Aberdeen, the city once referred to as a festering wound of a town in a travel guide, is now the #9 destination in the entire country escaping Communism out of 926 metro areas. Falling down houses are coming back! A little paint and these Seattle people are dodging needles, urine, and fecees and dancing in the streets in Aberdeen. Happy as all hell.

I’m not going to get into the esoteric discussion of what kind of unholy cesspit must exist behind the walls of Seattle that would make them take the perilous journey through the neighborhood gunshots and baracaids and find Aberdeen Washington looks good to them. I’m not. I’m not going there.

Now we here in Montesano are much more sophisticated and we celebrate our financial windfalls more reserved. The slight nod in the aisle of Thriftway…..a passing glance that lingers a tad too long……we all know the drill.

What is happening, according to real estate people I have spoken with is that it is a simple matter of even at another 100k over last year, we are still a good bargain.

Think of it like this. A hundred people (and its a lot more than a hundred) move out of loony town city, even to the suburbs. Now those suburbs as driven up in price. Those people and new home buyers forced down to Tacoma. Repeat……forcing people down into cheaper housing in Olympia. Well, there ain’t no other place for bargain hunting and first time buyers to go other than sleepy little Grays Harbor.

One Hundred people coming into a big city isn’t a blip. A hundred people moving into Grays Harbor is an earthquake and snapping up any available inventory………driving the prices up up up even higher!

Jenny Durkan has changed all our lives…..wait….I’m tearing up again.

Yes, our lives here are about to get so much better. Of course the poor trapped people in Seattle are going to be forced to live in a Communist state, but at least we can comfort ourselves somewhat…..WITH A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!!!

Historic low refinance rates have made it possible to not downsize as my fellow boomers and I have been planning, understand. No more moving in with the kids for us. Oh hell no. Forget the trailer park now….WE CAN REFINACE AND STAY IN OUR HOMES! We ain’t listing and we ain’t leaving. We are going to park our wrinkled world-worn butts down on our front porches around here and go nap nap nap at people walking down the street until we croak.

I highly suggest they expand the cemetery, it’s going to get crowded.

To recap, we here in Montesano are in the soft loving embrace of a financial windfall. The City of Aberdeen has a chance to really come back, the entire county financial situation is thumbs up do to rising property taxes, and all we have to do is sacrifice Seattle. I don’t know about you, but this is a no brainer to me.

Please, please….just one more Summer of Love. Just one more! Please….(I want to buy a big fishing boat).

I don’t know if Jenny Durkin is running for mayor of Seattle again, but she has my heartfelt political support now and for any future office. Dare we, my fellow Montesanoians, dream of a Governor Durkin?

There I go ….I’m misting up again.