WASHINGTON: White House Economic SpokesX , they/it, Sunshine Meadows, released talking points recently highlighting good news in the economy. “Look, we know costs in some areas are going up, its a price we all pay to kill oil and gas, but there is some good news”.
According to government tracking reports, Fentanyl has never been cheaper. The lower price has increased demand by 17% with a projected rise of another 10% this year alone. Prices are expected to lower further as more and more distributors enter the market and supply increases. “Sales are off the hook”, states San Francisco based distributor Fat Mikey. “We are looking to expand to the small towns up the coast now….. Its fat stacks baby!”.
After decades of government regulation hindering the growth of heroin and more recently, fentanyl, small distributors are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. As one merchant, recently setting up a pop-up store in downtown Seattle related” “Man (wiping tears) the cops even be giving everyone pipes to smoke it in now”.
“We are looking to expand to the small towns up the coast now…….its fat stacks baby!”
FAT MIKEY
Other industries seeing an uptick in growth, both real and projected, include street prostitution. Both Seattle and Portland submit a drop in street prices of approximately 20%. The reduced street prices reflect more and more women entering the industry for the first time.
Long time street manager High Hat reflected “we gots allllll these hoes coming in for the first time. Ya Boyz! Don’t need to hang around bus stations anymore!”.
The lower street prices are bringing in more customers fueling an expansion boom. Despite the higher gas prices.
Corporate interests are also seeing an increase. Nevada gaming casinos report a shift away from the practice of attracting wealthy gamblers and a push to welcome in the desperate middle class as they try to turn twenty into two hundred.
“We know its tough out there right now, we offer at least a chance to come up with some money.” Industry Marketing Manager Whitey Marks related. “Heck, we don’t even need to buy them a drink or a free buffet, these guys are pure profit!”, he continued.
Manufacturing sectors such as Auto Glass are reporting expansion. With a current increase of 15% demand, local warehouses are stocking inventory trying to get ahead of increased demand for replacements.
Housing indicators continue to reflect issues that offer little hope for both prospective individual home ownership, and more recently rental units. Quick to counter claims of unrest in the industry, the White House was eager to point to the increased sales of the camping equipment industry. “These people are stepping up and producing more tents. Its America at its best, pulling together showing that our economic policies are working”, SpokesX stated.
With such bright current, as well as forecasted growth, in several key industries – the Administration is countering claims of increased poverty and homelessness as racist propaganda.
Montesano Today 